Comments on: A dead squirrel is in my yard. Is it a victim of Swine Flu, Monkey Pox, Avian Flu, Terrorism, Global Warming?

By: dylkan

dylkan — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 12:19:59 +0000

Sarah Palin probably shot it from a helicopter
References :

By: Michael

Michael — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 11:50:59 +0000

That poor squirrel , wounded in some distant battle against an unknown foe and crawling, paw over paw, inch by horrible inch, was seeking your help. The miserable creature's last thought was of you! Desperately wounded he believed you were his salvation. That you, kind, honorable, and compassionate person that you are, might render him aid and comfort in his final moments. If he could take his last breaths cradled in your arms, his existence might finally have meaning and purpose. But his little hairy body, racked with pain and injury, proved too frail and his struggle was in vain. His heroic strength failed and he died in your yard unable to crawl the last few feet to your doorway and final peace. Or a cat got him, take your pick.
References :

By: Fonz

Fonz — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 11:38:59 +0000

Perhaps, he is just playing possum.
References :

By: superman

superman — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 11:01:59 +0000

he was probably a drug user...i think we need to step up on the war on drugs.
References :

By: Watch IT!

Watch IT! — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 10:40:59 +0000

It died of high cholesterol. Nuts contain chemicals that produce cholesterol in the body. Likely, his little heart just gave out.
References :
Bury him with his nuts.

By: Jason M

Jason M — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 10:09:59 +0000

It fell victim to Ralphy and his Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle BB gun with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time
References :

By: Alex

Alex — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 09:44:59 +0000

i'll go with the ole "he went nuts!" answer
References :

By: whati22

whati22 — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 09:25:59 +0000

anthrax...forgot about that
References :

By: dude named devon

dude named devon — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 09:19:59 +0000

ebola.

Shoot it with a shotgun. Then go over it with a riding mower.If you wanna be safe, and who doesn’t, put 3 M-80 in the remaining parts and light the fuse. THEN RUN! YOU COULD GET DEAD EBOLA SUIRREL GUTS ON YOU!
References :
My noggin. It worked once before!

By: metallica_rocks0122

metallica_rocks0122 — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 09:06:59 +0000

Its gotta be syphilis

YOU do amuse me….
References :