Well, I would say that this is none of the mentioned things you listed.
Probably the poor squirrel was a victim of a cat, or raccoon or perhaps it was poisoned by an evil human. References :
There could be many reasons why a squirrel is dead in your yard, it doesn’t mean it died from any serious diseases/sicknesses, it could have been natural causes or an animal got to it. References :
Shoot it with a shotgun. Then go over it with a riding mower.If you wanna be safe, and who doesn’t, put 3 M-80 in the remaining parts and light the fuse. THEN RUN! YOU COULD GET DEAD EBOLA SUIRREL GUTS ON YOU! References : My noggin. It worked once before!
It fell victim to Ralphy and his Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle BB gun with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time References :
It died of high cholesterol. Nuts contain chemicals that produce cholesterol in the body. Likely, his little heart just gave out. References : Bury him with his nuts.
That poor squirrel , wounded in some distant battle against an unknown foe and crawling, paw over paw, inch by horrible inch, was seeking your help. The miserable creature’s last thought was of you! Desperately wounded he believed you were his salvation. That you, kind, honorable, and compassionate person that you are, might render him aid and comfort in his final moments. If he could take his last breaths cradled in your arms, his existence might finally have meaning and purpose. But his little hairy body, racked with pain and injury, proved too frail and his struggle was in vain. His heroic strength failed and he died in your yard unable to crawl the last few feet to your doorway and final peace.
February 21st, 2010 at 10:33 pm
It’s Obama’s fault
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February 21st, 2010 at 11:12 pm
or a hawk
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February 21st, 2010 at 11:19 pm
Cat attack.
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February 21st, 2010 at 11:34 pm
it’s a victim of a hit and run
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February 21st, 2010 at 11:53 pm
Media overexposure bored it to death.
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February 22nd, 2010 at 12:39 am
I’m thinking it’s a victim of the Grim Reaper.
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February 22nd, 2010 at 1:04 am
Call the President. He’ll find a way to blame it on the "prior administration."
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February 22nd, 2010 at 1:23 am
Palin poaching!
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February 22nd, 2010 at 1:52 am
IT WAS THE WITCH!
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February 22nd, 2010 at 2:11 am
Probably saw his Tax bill !!!!
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February 22nd, 2010 at 2:31 am
it died of rabies
the swine flu is pig to human because it mutated, and is airborne
then again, maybe it saw michael jackson?
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February 22nd, 2010 at 2:58 am
Well, I would say that this is none of the mentioned things you listed.
Probably the poor squirrel was a victim of a cat, or raccoon or perhaps it was poisoned by an evil human.
References :
February 22nd, 2010 at 3:28 am
There could be many reasons why a squirrel is dead in your yard, it doesn’t mean it died from any serious diseases/sicknesses, it could have been natural causes or an animal got to it.
References :
February 22nd, 2010 at 4:06 am
Its gotta be syphilis
YOU do amuse me….
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February 22nd, 2010 at 4:19 am
ebola.
Shoot it with a shotgun. Then go over it with a riding mower.If you wanna be safe, and who doesn’t, put 3 M-80 in the remaining parts and light the fuse. THEN RUN! YOU COULD GET DEAD EBOLA SUIRREL GUTS ON YOU!
References :
My noggin. It worked once before!
February 22nd, 2010 at 4:25 am
anthrax…forgot about that
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February 22nd, 2010 at 4:44 am
i’ll go with the ole "he went nuts!" answer
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February 22nd, 2010 at 5:09 am
It fell victim to Ralphy and his Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle BB gun with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time
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February 22nd, 2010 at 5:40 am
It died of high cholesterol. Nuts contain chemicals that produce cholesterol in the body. Likely, his little heart just gave out.
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Bury him with his nuts.
February 22nd, 2010 at 6:01 am
he was probably a drug user…i think we need to step up on the war on drugs.
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February 22nd, 2010 at 6:38 am
Perhaps, he is just playing possum.
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February 22nd, 2010 at 6:50 am
That poor squirrel , wounded in some distant battle against an unknown foe and crawling, paw over paw, inch by horrible inch, was seeking your help. The miserable creature’s last thought was of you! Desperately wounded he believed you were his salvation. That you, kind, honorable, and compassionate person that you are, might render him aid and comfort in his final moments. If he could take his last breaths cradled in your arms, his existence might finally have meaning and purpose. But his little hairy body, racked with pain and injury, proved too frail and his struggle was in vain. His heroic strength failed and he died in your yard unable to crawl the last few feet to your doorway and final peace.
Or a cat got him, take your pick.
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February 22nd, 2010 at 7:19 am
Sarah Palin probably shot it from a helicopter
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